Might as well go all the way. Shep's still out there slowly losing his mind to chastity and kindheartedness, but let's introduce instead...
Full Name: Olaf Braeburn
Critter: Donkey
Apparent Age: Early 30's, with actual age possibly a lot younger.
Oft said quote: "Gonna make you a special price, Champ."
What is your character's personality?
"He's okay, I guess. Mostly forgets to pay his tab or begs for a free refill, but leastwise he never tried to cop a feel, or start a brawl with the big boys." - Maggie, waitress at the Golden Troff
"That weaselly slimeball promised to find me a complete collection of Udders for eighty bucks, then took the twenty advance, and I never seen him since." - Baldie Ben, unemployed collector of rare gentlemen's magazines
"Why, what's he done this time?" - Vernon Braeburn, father
How does s/he interact with others?
"Hey! Yeh, you, howdy Sir. You look like a coyano looking for something special. Right? Right? Yeeeeah, can't fool me. I know a guy with special tastes, eh? Been in the biz myself, you see. And boy have I got a treat for you! Rare footage, all the censored bits still in it. Can see everything what they wanted to put into PowerSnuff Girls Seven but was too chicken to leave it in. That your cuppa joe, Champ? Yeah, the one with Trish as Puddles, and this, this... this real scientist guy as Special Guest, ifyaknowwhatimean. Heheh. And dontcha worry, Champ, I'm gonna make you a special price for it."
Give an example description of your character.
Filthy unlaced hoofsneakers, faded, vertically striped stretch leggings straight from the Eighties and a baggy hooded sweater make for a typically incongruous attire, with Olaf's hands jammed tightly into the sweater's pockets, fiddling with whatever he's trying to sell at the moment. He's a constant chewer of Cudgum, muzzle often framed by greenish saliva foam, red-rimmed eyes darting to and fro for the next customer to bump into or wares to snatch. His long ears are laid back flat against his boney skull, held together by a series of interlocking earrings along the inner ridges, which makes him look perpetually dodgy, downcast at best.
What makes your character stand out from the other Slopiverse denizens?
Olaf bears a passing resemblance to a former, legendary hard core porn star known as "Duke Loadstone", a coincidence that he likes to exploit for his dubious transactions, even though he usually picks targets who'd think twice of admitting to ever having seen one of Loadstone's flicks. As is, Olaf is about the smallest fish in a grimy pond, someone who'd be described as "local character" or "rough but kind-hearted native" in a tourist brochure to all the seediest dumps on town, if it weren't for his nagging tenacity once he's decided to sell you something.
_________________ A lone figure sits still by a pool - he's been stamped human bacon by some butchering tool - he is you...
Social Security took care of this lad - we watch in reverence - as Narcissus is turned to a flower
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